I will never hurt you.
I will never make you feel that all your efforts are not worth it.
I will always be with you no matter what.
and I will love you with every breath that I breathe.
2011
It’s a good year for me and my family. Even though I experienced my first heartbreak this year, what’s important is that my family and the people close to me is healthy and safe and happy. Of course, this includes her.
Happy New Year everyone!
Cheers to 2012!
I miss my friends in the Philippines. :)
Winter Song
In our country, Christmas is usually spent with your boyfriend/girlfriend. So, people usually fret when they’re single.
Here in the Phils., Christmas is being spent with the family so everyone’s all jolly and that. It’s good. (Haha it’s good ‘cause I’m single! lol)
My family is in S.Korea and my flight’s tomorrow. I’ll spend my New Year with them. I can’t wait. I miss them tons.
Updates about her?
Well, she went back with her ex-bf, she looks happy so I’m contented with that. I hope he won’t hurt her again. Even though she dumped me, we’re still friends. I gave her a Hello Kitty perfume as a Christmas gift. :)
Happy holidays to everyone!
You will always be my princess. You’ll always be pretty in my eyes and I will never let you feel alone.
It’s been a long time right? I actually had the nerves to tell her how I feel and it turned out the way I expected it to be but the way I never want it to be.
She turned me down.
However I didn’t ask questions anymore, maybe it’s because I am also expecting it or I was deeply hurt I just want to walk away and be alone.
This was what I did..
I invited her for dinner but I didn’t say where we will eat. I just said I need to consult and hear her opinion about something.
I asked my friends who plays in a band to help me with my proposal and they instantly said yes. It’s in a small bar but not the usual people-are-all-hyped-drinking-bars. It’s more of a drinking bar for couples or people who want some time alone or friends who just want some catching up.
I brought her there and after some short talking, my friend asked me up on stage which is part of our plan and then I sang a song for her. I chose the song “Yellow” by Coldplay. I also made a short dedication for her with my feelings but I didn’t directly asked her the question yet. This was my message, not the exact words cause I kinda went tongue-tied but almost like this:
This song is dedicated to a very close friend of mine. She have undergone so many hardships in life at a very young age. I was there and I saw how she bravely faced those challenges and managed to overcome them. She is strong but she needs someone to take care of her too. She deserves to be appreciated, to be loved. She is very special to me, and this night, I want her to know that I love her and having her by my side will be enough. Enough for me to do my best to protect her, to help her and to not hurt her in anyway.
Then I sang the song.
After that, I went back to the table and she even made a joke, “ooh you’re in love! with whom?” I know she’s just pretending. I didn’t answer and we talked about my thesis and other stuffs, and after that we walked around the place cause it’s really nice and the lights are beautiful. Then I popped the question.
“It’s actually you..”
“Huh? What do you mean?”
“I love you. I’ve been loving you since I don’t know when and even though this won’t turn out good, maybe I’ll still be..”
Then there’s awkward silence.
Finally she answered, “I’m not ready yet.. and we’re friends.”
“I know..” That’s all I could say.
I brought her back to their house and said, “I hope you’ll still think about it.”
She just nodded her head. After that she didn’t send or replied to my messages anymore.
It was the longest night of my life.
There are a whole bunch of things I would like to tell you about. How I like to see you smile everyday, hear your voice, and see you wearing the Batman shirt I gave you on your 20th birthday—- only some of the few things I love about you.
By the time you find out my feelings for you, I hope it’ll go the way I want it to be. When that day comes, It’ll be one of the happiest days of my life, and I’ll probably take note of all the things I feel, butterflies in my stomach, the nervousness, and the exact words I said, and how you replied to them.
I want to tell everyone that you are my girlfriend, I won’t brag you like a trophy but I am proud of you being mine, so please tell me when it’s too much and gets out of your nerves.
I’ll allow you to use some of my shirts because I think loose shirts really look cute on you. I want to do a lot of things with you,one of the things I’m dreaming of is to lie on the bed with you during the night, talk about random stuffs, and maybe, our shitty problems, or just plain topics like what to eat for breakfast. I want to stare at you while falling asleep. I’ll hug you tight, and maybe scratch your back, because you told me you like back scratches because it makes you sleepy.
Having sex is another thing, that level will entail a deeper meaning in our relationship, trusting yourself to me is something I should really be serious about. And you know I respect you.
I want to wake up in the morning and see you sleeping beside me. I’ll try to wake you up and bully you to make the breakfast. It’s cute when you’re annoyed. However, I’ll still assist you in cooking because I know you get clumsy at times.
I want to be with you. The future is uncertain but one things for sure now.
I love you.
Even if we don’t end up together, I’d still care for you.
I still hope that in the end, it’ll be you and me. I promise, you’ll be my only princess.
It’s hard to want and need someone so bad but you can’t get her. She’s so close yet seems so far. I’m inches away from her hands but can’t seem to hold them because I’m frozen—- frozen from my own insecurities and doubts. I can smell and feel her around me, I want to just lay beside her and breathe the same air that she breathes, listen to her silly stories all night long but this won’t happen.
Not now. She’s with someone, whom she really loves, whom she dedicate probably the first paragraph I’ve written above, and it hurts.
Anonymous asked: Post a pic of yourself?:)
I already did. I think I posted two photos. :)
Hey. It’s been a long time since I created a blogpost here. Well, past few days have been busy for me, with all the school requirements I have to finish.
How is she?
She is having a pretty hard time dealing with her academics. I think she has no time to study at all after school hours. I always get the time to drag her in the library to study for like one hour or so. I’m doing this not just because I like her but also as a friend. I am worried. She’s failing her exams. :|
..and I know, boys like me who cares so much for the girl that he likes doesn’t get all the attention and all from her and ends up being..or staying in the friendzone.
Oh well, I guess I just have to deal with that.
